Whatever we treasure in life we usually go to great lengths to protect. Our most valuable possessions in life are secured through various forms of security. Here’s my point: if we treasure our marriages as we ought, we will protect our marriages at all costs. Remember, whatever we treasure in life we usually go to great lengths to protect.
In the seventh commandment God gives a stern, unapologetic command – with no exceptions – about our marriages. Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14). The Bible is very clear that there is no sin that hurts more spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally than the sin of adultery. Proverbs 6:32 says But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding (translation: makes a dumb decision) he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. The results adultery bring are not worth the reasons by which that decision is made. It’s simply not worth the destruction that this sin brings to your life.
Now, with that in mind I want to share seven practical steps that all marriages can take in order to protect us from violating God’s seventh commandment.
REFUSE TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE BEFORE MARRIAGE
Those who are not married can begin right now protecting their future marriage by living faithfully today. I’m not so sure that sleeping around with multiple people before marriage prepares you to be faithful to just one person. Remember what Paul said to the church at Thessalonica, For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.
BE FUN AND FREQUENT INTIMATELY WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Some are very uncomfortable talking about this, but let’s be honest…yes, God created sex for procreation, but He did not limit it to that. He also designed it to bring pleasure in the marital relationship. Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled. Have you read Song of Solomon lately? You should! A wise man once told me, “If you have fun with your spouse at home they won’t go looking for fun anywhere else.” This is an important part of protecting your marriage! Treasure the intimacy that God created.
AVOID PLACES OF TEMPTATION AND PRIVATE SETTINGS
In Proverbs 7:19 the loose woman said to the man The goodman is not at home, he is gone on a long journey. It’s dangerous, dangerous, dangerous to put yourself in a place that temptation becomes extremely difficult to resist. Don’t do it!! Avoid it!!
GUARD MEDIA AND ENTERTAINMENT INFLUCE WITH ACCOUNTABILITY
Could it be that the number one way Satan is destroying marriages through adultery is beginning with the internet? I’m convinced of that! Yet, why are we not going to great lengths to protect these outlets from attacking us. Be careful of the television programming you subscribe to. Don’t even think of having internet in your home without proper accountability. Can I recommend a couple? Our church and family uses opendns.com. Another GREAT resource is covenanteyes.com for your phone and computers.
BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH YOUR SPOUSE ABOUT TEMPTATIONS
It was a life-changing moment for me when I came to fully understand what a biblical helpmeet (Genesis 2:18) was. If you arrogantly and chauvinistically think a helpmeet is someone to iron your clothes, cook your meals, and clean your house, you’re a fool! No, a helpmeet is one who is strong where I am weak. Men, your wives can be the one who helps your greatest weaknesses. Be open with her. Share with her the struggles that men face and let her be your helpmeet…your accountability…your greatest ally.
NEVER SHARE EMOTIONAL FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
This is the purpose of the marriage relationship. Your husband/wife is to be your closest friend. To have a close relationship, that is private and personal, with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse is to cross a line that is sin. Adultery occurs emotionally before it ever happens physically. Ask Jesus about that – Matthew 5:27-28. By the way, lust is not just craving physically what someone else is or has. You can lust after the personality of a woman, the character of a man, etc. Protect your marriage by making your spouse your closest friend.
LOVE JESUS MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF
All sin is selfishness, all sin. But adultery is, no doubt, the result of a person loving themselves more than they love Jesus. If you will stay in love with your spouse and stay in love with Jesus, then you can protect your marriage from adultery.